the closet

The closet in Offred's room is a small, intimate space that becomes a site of hidden resistance, memory, and connection to the past. It holds the forbidden message "Nolite te bastardes carborundorum" scratched by a previous Handmaid, and serves as a refuge for Offred's private rituals of self-preservation, such as hiding butter and contemplating escape.

Location and Description

The closet is located in Offred's bedroom, a room that was once part of a large Victorian family house. The room itself is furnished with a chair, a table, a lamp, a window with white curtains, and a bed with a flocked white spread. The closet is a cupboard with a door, and inside it hangs Offred's red woolen cape for cold weather and a shawl. The space is small and dark, but it becomes a crucial hiding place for Offred's few secret possessions.

The Hidden Message

Three days after being moved into the room, Offred discovered a message scratched into the floor of the closet, in the corner where the darkest shadow fell. The message, written in tiny letters with a pin or fingernail, reads: "Nolite te bastardes carborundorum." Offred does not know what it means or even what language it is in, but she recognizes it as a forbidden piece of writing, intended for whoever came next. The message pleases her, and she repeats it to herself, finding a small joy in communing with the unknown woman who wrote it. She imagines the woman as about her age, maybe a little younger, and turns her into Moira as she was in college: quirky, jaunty, athletic, with freckles. Offred wonders who she was or is, and what has become of her.

A Site of Private Ritual and Resistance

The closet also serves as a hiding place for Offred's small acts of defiance. After dinner, she saves a pat of butter, wrapping it in a paper napkin and slipping it into the toe of her right shoe in the closet. Later, she rubs the butter over her face and hands, a trick she learned at the Rachel and Leah Re-education Center, to keep her skin soft and to believe that she will someday be touched again in love or desire. This private ceremony, performed in the closet, is a way of maintaining hope and a sense of self.

A Refuge in Crisis

In moments of extreme emotional distress, the closet becomes a refuge. After her first secret meeting with the Commander, Offred returns to her room and, overwhelmed by the absurdity and danger of the situation, feels laughter boiling inside her. She crawls into the closet, draws up her knees, and stifles the laughter in the folds of the hanging cloak, shaking and heaving. There, in the dark, she traces the tiny scratched writing with her fingers, as if it were a code in Braille. The message sounds in her head less like a prayer and more like a command, though she feels there is no way out. Later, she lies on the floor of the closet, breathing too fast, then slower, evening out her breathing as in the exercises for giving birth.

Connection to the Previous Handmaid

The closet is the site of Offred's most direct connection to the woman who occupied the room before her. When Offred asks Rita about the previous occupant, Rita reveals that there have been more than one, and that some haven't stayed their full term of posting. Offred learns that the woman with freckles "didn't work out." Later, the Commander tells Offred that the previous Handmaid hanged herself, and that is why the light fixture was removed from the room. The closet, with its hook, becomes a reminder of that death and the possibility of suicide, a possibility Offred considers but ultimately rejects.

Narrative Significance

The closet is a microcosm of Offred's existence: a confined space where she is both trapped and able to preserve a fragment of her inner life. It is a place of hidden writing, secret rituals, and dangerous memories. The message "Nolite te bastardes carborundorum" becomes a talisman, a link to a sister in suffering, and a reminder that resistance, however small, is possible. The closet, like the room itself, is a waiting room, but it is also a space where Offred can, for a moment, be alone with her thoughts and her hope.